How to enjoy sex when you’re trying, intensely, to get pregnant

I’ll start with some plain and simple advice for the men: Your only job right now is to follow your wife's lead. Make love when she says to. Come when she says to. Quit drinking or smoking weed or jerking off if she says so. This is likely going to be a short period of time where your listening skills, and patience levels, will mean the absolute world to your woman. Will it be the wildest sex of your life? No. It’s going to be, for the most part, quick and transactional and clinical and cold. BUT if you man up and do EXACTLY what she says, when she says it, with a great attitude, and a fully-loaded erection, your wife will love you so freakin’ hard for being so wonderful and selfless that years of rockstar sex will follow. 

For the women: Be strong. Listen to your doctors. Stay positive. Take care of yourself mentally and physically. Eat nicely. Sleep well. Enjoy your life. Be hopeful. I’ve never met anyone who wanted kids and didn’t find a way. You will find a way. As for the sex, just get it done, sis.

I do have some practical tips for actually, um, enjoying on-demand, fertility-driven sex.  For one, it’s still sex. At least one of you is still going to orgasm. So, yay! Second, a little role play goes a long way. For the men, ask your woman if she’s open to having some fun in that department. Like, pretend she’s your sex master, and when she says it’s time to fuck, you fuck. If she’s not up for any play (understandable) use your imagination to melt into the moment. She’s your boss and she wants you to give it to her now. She’s your teacher, and you’ve been naughty, and now you need to please her. Whatever floats your boat, babe.

Lastly, I’m going to use the C word. 

Communication. This is a very hard time and it might actually get harder before it gets easier. Fertility struggles can drive a couple apart, or bring them closer in unimaginable ways. Make it your full time job to become closer; to truly show up in every emotional, physical and sexual way right now – even if that means not showing up at all and giving each other space.